Rosadé put my face under water long ago:
It’s been a long time since Rosadé put my face under water. I was a little girl then and I didn’t really understand what was happening. Sometimes, I think baptism can be done without the person fully understanding its significance. It wasn’t until afterwards that I understood. I understand now that baptism has to do with Dupade and having faith in his son Jesus.
I wanted to return to the church:
And I wanted to go back and start over again. I wanted to be like the people that had sinned and were repenting of their sin in front of the believers. I had sinned too but had never repented publicly. I thought, ‘These people are not like me. I haven’t sinned as much as they have.’ So, I didn’t go up to confess my sin.
I wanted to start going back to meetings again, but my mother, and my sister Omé hated going to church at that time, but later they did want to go back. They said, ‘There is a Dupade.’ And then my mother and Omé had a desire to hear Dupade’s Word.
But I think I’m ‘stuck’ with Dupade. I praise him and say to myself, ‘I think Dupade didn’t lie to us when he said he would never leave us, and that is why I haven’t been able to leave him.’
“For God has said, “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
I almost never went to church after my husband left me:
But the women didn’t believe me. They said, “Sama is lying; she’s a sinner.”
Because the women doubted me, I didn’t come before Dupade and didn’t go back to serving him. I almost stopped going to meetings at all after my husband left me.
My husband left me, and I stopped going to church. It was then that I fell into sin, even though I really didn’t want to.
The women accused me of things:
The women said, ‘Jnani has a wife but Sama wants him,’ but I didn’t want him at that time. But his wife left him and went to Santa Cruz and wanted nothing more to do with her child. It was a long time later, one year or so, that I went to him after his child had died.
My first husband wanted lots of other women:
Finally, I went before the church, and this is what I told about myself. I told them I had only had two husbands. I would not have left my first husband, as the women well knew, but he wanted many other women. And when he wanted yet another one, that’s when I left him. He was with many other young women. And I said to myself, ‘I’m going to leave him, because he does not resist Satan’s temptations. If he is unfaithful again, I will leave him.’
I left him and after some time, went to Jnani. And he was the last one. There were no more. I would never go to another young man after that.
The women called me a liar:
The women called me a liar, but I don’t think I am a liar; I think I’ve been truthful about all of this.
If Jesus were to arrive to take his believers, I think I would be in God’s town among them. For I have not lied about myself.
I only sinned like this for a little while, and I never went back to it.
When my husband left me, I took off:
I took off when my husband left me. I said to myself, ‘I am going to leave and go up there and get drunk.’ And I got ready to go to Santa Cruz. I went to Santa Cruz with my friends. I went with her, but I’ve forgotten her name. Oh, yes, it was Joré, but she has died since then. I accompanied my friends and we lived in Santa Cruz. But then I got drunk, really drunk. Afterwards I said to myself, ‘Getting drunk is awful.’
I said, ‘I’m going to start trusting Dupade again.’
I said to myself, ‘I’m returning and believing in Dupade once more. I’m turning back to him, and I don’t ever want to get drunk again. I’ve had it! There will be no more of me living like that because I’m going to confess what I have done in front of the church.’
That’s what I wanted to do, and I don’t think I lied about myself or about what I did. The only thing I did was to go to Santa Cruz. And I think I’ve not lied about having had only two husbands. I only left my first husband because he’d been unfaithful with many young women. And I told myself, ‘I will leave him.’ And then, I went to Jnani and only him. There is no way I would go to any other man.
But the women accused me of other things:
They accused me of things that I didn’t do, but I don’t think they meant to lie about me. Were Jesus to arrive to take his believers, I think he would take me, also. Because those are the only ugly things I’ve done.
I went before them with the intention of getting right with them again. I listened as others spoke, and how they accepted them, but they still wouldn’t stop their ugly treatment of me.
For this reason, I do not consider Dupade a liar and I say to myself, ‘Dupade knows the truth.’ But I ask myself, ‘Why don’t I go to meetings any more?’ But I know why. It’s because I went away from Dupade long ago and started doing bad things. But I would never want to do those things again. I know I told the truth when I said I’ve only had two husbands.
And this is all I have to say. (John 6:37-39)
Key:
Dupade – God
Dupade’s word – Bible, Scripture
Put someone’s face under water – Baptise
Sama – Tobité, Bolivia – August of 1975
Transcribed and translated to English by: Maxine Morarie
Scripture portions are added.
