Gayujna’s story: (Psalm 19:14)
When I was a young girl I didn’t know anything at all. But now I do. I don’t think there was anything beautiful about my past. I didn’t do anything. But when I was a girl everything seemed beautiful to me. But later I found out what was truly good, what was truly beautiful.
I know myself now and that is why I’m standing here before you:
I found out what was truly beautiful on the day that I gave myself to Dupade. And there is now no possibility of turning away from Dupade, because I have given myself to Him. Standing up and giving our testimonies before others is no small thing. It is not an insignificant step. I know myself now and so I stand here before you. I know myself. I know what is in me and I want people to know what I have to say. And what I have to say isn’t unimportant, for we generally don’t stand before others to tell our testimonies. It’s a good thing for us to search our hearts and to share what is in our hearts with others. I have searched my heart. (Romans 10:9,10)
I will not be in the gatherings of the women any longer when they gossip:
I was full of sin and didn’t know anything, I sinned a lot. I couldn’t wait to hear the gossip. But how different it is now, I don’t like to join in the talk that is going on around me. I know myself, I know my heart. I think I will probably not be in the gatherings of the women any longer for they are always talking about others, and even expressing doubts about Dupade. So I don’t think I will join with them anymore, because I know what goes on. I know that Dijaide has told me that it is not a good thing for women to get together to gossip and talk bad about others. And not only that, for them to speak bad things about Dupade, things that make me ashamed of them. To listen when they talk bad about Dupade hurts me.
Dijaide knows Dupade and he tells us about him:
Dijaide and Josué went to help Señora Marina (Maxine Morarie) a while back.
When Dijaide returned he told me what Señora Marina wanted him to tell me, and it was so good to hear from her. Dupade knows me, and he’s found a place in my heart. He knows me, and he sees me.
A group of doctors will examine me soon. They want to find out what to do about my illness.
When we went to Cochabamba once, I heard Tim Wyma speak. We went to the dentist while we were there. I didn’t get to talk to Tim, but Dijaide must have told him about me.
Tim asked him: “Dijaide, has Gayujna put her faith in Dupade? Since she is ill and seeing so many doctors, that is important for her.”
I have found my heart, now I know myself:
But I didn’t say anything, because, at that time I didn’t know what to say. It was after that when I got right with Dupade. I decided to believe. No human knows my heart; they can only can see the clothes I wear. They know what color my dress is, but they can’t see my heart. I have now found my heart. Now I know myself. I know that Dupade sees me, and he is helping me.
When I ask him to help me, he does help me. I’m happy that the leaders know me, and say they believe in me. They’ve observed me. They’ve helped me. I’m happy that Señora Marina knows me and feels close to me. She says she believes in me. She says she knows me.
There is no child in the world that knows Dupade’s Word. But Josué is already interested in Dupade’s Word. He wants to begin teaching us in our meetings. There aren’t many children like Josué. I was pleased when Señora Marina said that they were praying for Josué who even as a child was understanding things.
Only Dupade knows what is in my heart:
Don Pablo (Paul Gess) says he knows me, also, but I think nobody really knows my heart or what I think. I think only Dupade knows what is in my heart. And he knows that it isn’t possible for me to turn away from him, not now, not at all. I no longer want to do the things I used to do. I am no longer interested in what is being said by people around me. I don’t pay any attention to it. The things that are said when the women get together are just idle words.
I want for Dijaide to build a house where we could live alone. Then I wouldn’t have to listen to all the things the women say. They tend to gossip most about those of us women who are believers.
We who believe and follow Dupade will be persecuted:
Señora Marina talked to Dijaide about this and told him: “Haven’t you heard that we who believe and follow Dupade will be persecuted? And that is what happened to Dupade’s Son Jesus also. And he said: “I have done nothing wrong and yet they will kill me and nail me to a cross,” and he said, “how much more will they persecute you who are my disciples.”
I’m so happy to be telling my testimony to Señora Marina and how much more because others will hear it in other places in the world. There is nothing in the world that we find beautiful any more, only Dupade is beautiful to us.
This is what I want to say to my fellow women:
And this is what I have to say to my fellow women, all of you, open your ears and know that there is nothing ugly about Dupade. But it’s because they haven’t discovered themselves yet that they have a low opinion of Dupade. Let’s find ourselves and then we’ll know our hearts.
I am so happy with Dijaide for it is he that tells us what is in Dupade’s Word. I heard that some were saying: “Gayujna is lying. Dijaide doesn’t teach her about Dupade’s Word.”
But, I’m not lying about that. It makes me so happy because he does teach our family about Dupade’s Word. And that is why I never want to turn back from where I now am. I have found myself at last, and I don’t ever want to live the way I did. Especially now, in these days since I have given myself to Dupade. And especially now that we have a testimony to maintain before others. There are some women who complain about Dupade’s Word, but I don’t complain about anything to do with Dupade.
I did a few bad things before. I joined in and did what others did when I was a young girl and thought nothing about it. When I did think bout it, it didn’t seem important. Later it bothered me, however. Especially afterwards and I didn’t know what to say. I think I stopped listening to the opinions of others. And that was when I found myself.
Probably my fellow women talk about me, saying, “Gayujna is afraid and that’s why she doesn’t answer back when we scold her.”
Dupade helps me:
I’m not afraid of anything at all. I only fear Dupade’s punishment, but I won’t have to suffer it. And that is why I cannot ever go back to how I was, and why I won’t join the women when they get together. Satan is the one who gets them together to accuse and cast doubts on so many things in the world. They say things that embarrass me.
We who know Dupade are ashamed to act like that before him.
It’s Dupade’s Word that has caused me to know myself, and that is why I’m giving my testimony. And what I have to say is not just foolish chatter. There is nothing, nothing in this world that is beautiful, only Dupade is beautiful. He is the only one who can help any of us here on earth.
The fact that so many doctors have helped me shows how much Dupade has blessed me. Dupade gives wisdom to the doctors concerning how to treat me, and that is why there is going to be a consultation of doctors concerning my case.
No human sees the real me, but Dupade sees the real me and He knows me. And soon the doctors who have studied my case will decide how best to treat me.
I used to participate in gossip with my fellow women, but now I quickly forget what I hear:
I heard that Señora Marina said, “When I heard that Gayujna gave her testimony, I cried.” I know that she thinks she knows all about me. But I don’t know if she really does. What matters to me is that I believe in Dupade, and he knows I am sincere.
Dupade will help me to be able to travel. I look forward to going to Rincón when Dijaide goes for the conference there. I look forward to visiting Señora Marina. And I’m so pleased that others are going to hear my words. There is no way that I will backslide – I won’t go back to listening to idle talk, I don’t ever want to go back to that.
I am a sinner and I once participated in the gossip with my fellow women. And what I heard would lodge in my mind, fester, and soon I was bawling people out. And I know that many people were affected by my sharp tongue, and that is something I regret and will always remember. (Ephesians 4:29)
Key:
Dupade – God
Gayujna – Tobité, Bolivia – 1975
Transcribed and translated to English by: Maxine Morarie.